The Talking Heads song in Part I of this post describes a good portion of my life and how I have felt the past few years.
I remember when I was 16 and started thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I had a really good career counselor in high school. I took all sorts of tests and it was determined that I would probabally be happy as a social worker, therapist or even a minister.
I found a school to put me in the right direction for this career of helping people. I finished school with good grades and moved back home. I could not find a paying position, so I found ways to volunteer with agencies and churches. Time went by and I got married to a wonderful woman who is still the best thing in my life. I asked the agencies where I volunteered if I could come on full or part time and they were never able to hire me on, or maybe did not want to. I continued working in whatever job I could find, and found one that I did ok in and felt accepted. I continued to volunteer in my church and in other ways.
Years passed and I realized I am on the back side of 30 and the dreams still remain unfufilled. I don't blame the places I volunteered for not hiring me. I had some times where I could have applied to other jobs, but they just seemed like they were too large of undertakings for me. I was scared and stayed in my Joe Jobs.
Recently, I have started making advances back towards the dreams I had when I was younger, and I'm not beating myself up so much. Things are going to get better, they have to.....
(Continued in Part 3)
Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.
By Rage Against The Machine