Call Center Purgatory <$BlogRSDURL$>
Call Center Purgatory
Friday, May 21, 2004
  If you have any questions....

Got another memo today.

"It is important that our customer's instructions are followed to the letter. There are other companies providing financial services such as ours, and with the market in the state of flux that it is in, we must continue to be hungry. Service is the only product that we actually sell. If anyone has any questions or does not understand this concept, he should speak to management so that everything may be crystal clear."

I love the mindset going on in these memos. It is amazingly ludicrous. I sometimes imagine taking one of these memos and going on this quest for knowledge that they keep offering at the end-to make things crystal clear. I fantasize it would go something like this....

AnonymousCog:"Hi, I got this memo and I don't understand the part about the service. I was hoping you could explain it to me."

P.H.B.(Pointy Haired Boss):"Certainly, always glad to interface with my resources in a way that leads to clarification of our prevailing paradigm."

AnonymousCog:"Ok, you say that service is our only product, but we lend people money too. What's that all about?"

P.H.B.:"No, you misunderstand, the allocation of resources to our customers is one of our services."

AnonymousCog:"But service is an action, and money is a commodity. So we must sell a commodity also."

P.H.B.:"No, the commodity is there to facilitate the transfer of services to our customers."

AnonymousCog:"So they only have to pay for the services, and the money is free?"

P.H.B.:"No, the capital is part of the service that they pay us so handsomely for."

AnonymousCog:"Can I have some service?"

P.H.B.:"Have a motivational coffee mug from my desk, be empowered."

AnonymousCog:"Dude, it's stained...."

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Exploring the mind numbing insanity and childish corporate culture of an unknown call center employee.

Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.

Email:anonymous.cog at

"One must know oneself, if this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life, and there is nothing better." -Blaise Pascal

The Cog is listening to:
"Wake Up"
By Rage Against The Machine

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