Call Center Purgatory <$BlogRSDURL$>
Call Center Purgatory
Friday, July 09, 2004
  Ending it all...

I am fairly sure that everyone in the world has thought about ending their life through suicide. I remember when I was a teenager I thought about it more than I care to remember. Then in my 20's, my grandfather, who I was very close to became sick, and started struggling to just exist in a painful physical state with very little dignity.

Finally, he put a bullet in their brain and ended it all.

My grandmother never recovered after that and didn't last many years longer. She was bitter and depressed because of the suicide. She may have died of something else, but the suicide was the trigger.

I didn't blame my grandfather, life had become very painful, and he had lost a sense of control and dignity. In some small way I understood why he did it. But when compared to the pain it caused the rest of the family, it still wasn't justified.

I don't believe that suicide is the unforgivable sin that sends you straight to hell. Especially if it is a related to a diminished mental state. Some theologies seem to allow people to die from physical sickness, but do not give as much value to mental sickness, anguish or pain.

There have been times when I become discouraged and look at all that is set before me to do, I feel overwhelmed and hear that temptation in the dark recesses of my psyche. I've got physical problems that aren't improving, and if I don't see some improvement, there is a chance I could wind up in a diminished state like my relative.

But I've got some strong anchors that keep from taking my own life. The number one anchor is my wife. When I think back on how my grandmother suffered, and what it did to her, I can't imagine doing that to my own wife. But there are other people besides her. Besides my own family, and my friends there is the world of other people that I have worked with in my church and in other volunteer work.

I know I'm no Mother Theresa or Saint Francis by a long shot. But no one is an island either. There have been people that I have counseled and encouraged not to give up, what's going to happen to them if I give up? We have more influence than we realize, if we throw it all away, the world will only grow worse.

Even though it may be the quickest answer to so much pain, I still believe suicide is still the selfish way out that kills one life and damages countless others.

Comments: Post a Comment

Exploring the mind numbing insanity and childish corporate culture of an unknown call center employee.

Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.

Email:anonymous.cog at

"One must know oneself, if this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life, and there is nothing better." -Blaise Pascal

The Cog is listening to:
"Wake Up"
By Rage Against The Machine

Search this site powered by FreeFind

Here's my RSS(XML Atom) feed

Visit Anonymous Cog's other site: Poverty,Politics,and Faith

Call Centre


"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle." -George Orwell


February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / June 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / December 2006 / August 2007 / September 2007 / September 2011 /

Powered by Blogger