In our vast call center complex there is a combination reception area for new customers and executive lounge. In this sanctum of plush Burgundy carpet and tasteful art prints is a small refrigerator and a cherry table that overflow with a cornucopia of snacks and beverages.

The treats are not there all the time, it is refilled from time to time when clients are coming in or for board meetings. Of course, this area is off limits to the rest of us. I have not pilfered myself, but I hear tales of croissants filled with cream cheese and fruit and exotic snapple flavors and Doritos.

Recently, a cry of rage and uproar came from the management and accounting department. Someone had been eating the forbidden fruits! If their pitchforks had not been out getting sharpened, they would have gotten some torches and stormed the call floor where we work.

Instead of getting the polygraph out, an all caps memo appeared taped up around the center that read: