(The following is based on a conversation I had recently with a customer.)

Ring...Ring...

"Anonymous Investments, This is A.C. How can I help you?"
"Can you find me a fund in the next 30 minutes that will bring a guaranteed 15%?"
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, I was told to call you and ask before I call another firm."
"Look, I don't know if you have heard this phrase before, but its very common in this industry, 'Past performance is no guarantee of future results.' It's kind of a maxim."
"You mean, you can't guarantee a rate of return?"
"Thats right Sparky. I can't even start looking unless you give me some trust here. Whats it going to be? I can start looking for a fund that has done well in the past, but only if you allow us to open a file."
"Well, I don't know..."
"Ok..."
strained silence....1 minute passes.
"How about I send you a coffee cup and some pamphlets?"
"OK...."
"Thanks for calling Anonymous Investments."
"Bye..Thanks"
Click..
"What a Moron..."

Thanks for reading,

AC