Sometimes I wonder what will happen if or when the people at work find out about my blog. I think there is a good chance I can make it out of here without them finding out, but I can't guarantee it.
Part of me could not possibly care less if they find out how I feel about them. Especially our GM and the people that own the company, and the sales and management department of the company. They don't seem to care about me other than as a source of profit. Part of me wants them to find out, that is, after I'm gone. I just have not developed any real atatchment to many people here. There are some people on the floor that I am tight with, but throughout the rest of the company, not so much. If I leave on bad terms, it's not going to be the end of the world by a long shot.
Then there is my direct supervisor Larry. Throughout the years, I have become fond of him. I'm certainly not blind to his faults. I also realize that he probably would not stick up for me if it would get him in hot water. In fact, he's ratted me out before, and I've done the same to him. I don't particularly know why I like him, but I do. He's almost a father figure. When he's not yelling at us or issuing idiotic memos, there are many times he can be really pleasant. In fact, there are some times I almost feel like I have become one of his favorites. With the turnover that goes on around here, that's not too hard.
It's just kind of freaky. It's almost like I'm suffering with the Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes when I'm writing blog entries, I feel like I'm being disloyal to him, I know that's nonsense, but I still feel that way.
I guess that's how many relationships are, you spend so much time with people you start to ignore their faults. Very few people are 100% evil, and its just easier to concentrate on their good traits. You can't change people's hearts. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but people will only change what they believe and how they act if they decide for themselves its a good idea.
I hope if Larry ever reads this blog he knows that I didn't hate him as a person. I just hated the way he ran the call center, and how he made it an awful place to work. I just wish he would have treated the good workers better, and that he would have disciplined some of the others more, that's all...
Thanks for reading,
Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.
By Rage Against The Machine