Probably one of the things that infuriates me the most about my customers is that they don't listen. It's an epidemic. You ask them one question and they answer with something totally different. Like this:
"Anonymous Investments, This is AC. How can I help you?"
"Hi, I want to make a trade."
"Ok, what's your account number"
"Yeah, my name is Robert Brown."
"Ok, Mr. Brown. What's that account number?"
"I live in Reading, PA"
"Mr. Brown. I can't start this trade without your account number."
"Oh, it's 69548. Why didn't you just ask?"
(AC, presses the mute button...)
"I did. Three times. But you are such a moronic imbecile you don't listen to a word I say. Did they serve fishsticks with lead chips at your grade school every Friday with apple crumble in a nice asbestos sauce?"
(press the mute button.)
"Thank you sir. What can I do for you today..."
You might think I'm exaggerating. But I'm not. I have calls where I have to ask three times for the same piece of information. I've often thought that customers live in this dream world where whenever they call up we will hear the sound of their sunny voice and say,
"Mr. Brown? Is that you? It's been so long! How's Buffy and Jody? Is Buffy doing any better in Math class? Oh, that's great to hear. How can I help you? Hold on, out of the 3000 customers I have I remember your account number. Oh, and did you want to invest in that stock that you and the Mrs. were talking about last night? Yeah, of course I know which one it is. You never have to think for yourself, not as long as I'm on the job. Have a nice day sir. Please call again so that I may bask in your presence and take in some of your marvelous personality. Yep, that makes it all worth living. Bye bye now!"
Customers can't have it both ways. They can't have the cost savings of a call center along with a company that knows them and their needs personally. As long as the public continues to always think cheaper service is the best, they will always have call centers where no one knows their name and no one can read their minds. They will always have to answer questions they don't want to, and talk to people that are complete strangers. Those people might even have accents and not be "Ahmericuhn". But, it's a small price to pay to get everyday low prices. Isn't global capitalism spiffy?
Thanks for reading,
AC
Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.
"Wake Up" By Rage Against The Machine
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