Call Center Purgatory <$BlogRSDURL$>
Call Center Purgatory
Thursday, March 23, 2006
  Drowning in the Reservoir of Thought

I'm staring at the screen and I've got nothing. No inspiration, no incredible heart-felt things to share, not a damn thing. Not a joke, not a haiku, not even a naughty limerick.

Nothing is swimming in that incredibly dark reservoir of thought between my ears, not even those three headed fish and two headed dolphins that may be a result of the glue I sniffed during yearbook class in 1983.

The call center has sucked my energy and my intellect until my intellect is foggy and my heart is numb. The wave of consciousness rides like a cheap wave pool at a third-rate water park. I leap into the dark depths and just sink to the bottom.

Cheap coffee...Ring... Ring....
Spicy Chinese microwave dinners, Ring... Ring...
I like denim miniskirts...Ring...Ring...
Please drop something...Ring...Ring..
"How can I help you?"...Ring..Ring..
Take Five by Dave Brubeck...Ring...Ring..
"Here are your goals for this month, AC. You need to reach them more consistently, Hell, just try to reach them at all!"...Ring...Ring...Ring..
Ring...Ring...Ring..Ring...
"Where is God in all of this?"
Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...
"Why don't I want to talk to him?"
Ring...Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...

The fog before my eyes clear, the water drains from my ears, I take a breath and crawl out onto the beach of some island in the middle of the dark water. Struggling to my feet, I stumble towards a non-descript door in front of me.

I walk out into the sun in springtime. It is about twenty years ago. It is my second date with my wife. We spent the day at the zoo. We chattered nervously, trying to get to know each other. I was never smooth at that age. We stop by the otter exhibit and lean on the rail as the furry little clowns slide into the water and frolic just because they can. Their mustaches appear to be hiding big grins. They have no purpose, no plan, they just enjoy life and revel in their own "otterness".

Now's my chance. I reach over and take her hand. She smiles and we are both in Heaven. We barely stop holding hands through the rest of the day. We leave the zoo and have lunch in a park with a green field nearby. She made brownies. I lay my head in her lap. We watch the clouds go by.

No matter how numb and sad I feel from time to time, these memories remain and bring me joy when nothing else does.

Thanks for reading,

AC

Anonymous Cog

 
Comments:
Dear Anonymous Cog,

Your blog is wonderful and you are so inspirational. That sounds a bit limp compared to what I really want to say.

I loved your entry on Ecclesiastes. I am a Jew and have never liked Christianity, but your blog has given me a new respect.

I also work in a call centre and I have often related very strongly to what you have written.

Thank you for bringing me a lot of pleasure over the last six months or so that I have been reading your blog. (I read all the archives too).

Please keep writing.

Wishing you all the best,

miki
 
me too.
 
Dear Miki and TLG,

Thank you for the nicest comments I remember receiving for some time. Yor really made my week. There are times I think that writing the blog is a waste of time and it seems like no one cares what I write, if at all. There are some times I feel like such a comment hog, just hoping that someone would say something, and then hoping it will be nice or someone will actually 'get it'.

Thanks again.
 
I care very much what you write about, AC. I don't have Internet access at home anymore so I don't get to check and see what you're doing too often. You sound so sad in this post. Are you okay? Your blog helps remind me that I can be a Christian and still work in a call center without having my soul sucked out. In fact, I think it helps me help many of the people who call in.

Keep on keeping on, AC!

Laliari
 
Thanks for asking how I'm doing, Laliari. I'm in the midst of things getting better and worse in the call center. I'm finally getting reviews of my work, and finally have a boss who really wants to help, but sometimes getting what you want is not what you thought it would be.

Thanks for the kind words about the blog. I really appreciate them.
Your Friend,

AC
 
Unexpected and wonderful... I've said this before... You should be writing professionally...

Thank you...
 
Thanks Tom.
AC
 
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Exploring the mind numbing insanity and childish corporate culture of an unknown call center employee.
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Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.
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Email:anonymous.cog at gmail.com
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"One must know oneself, if this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life, and there is nothing better." -Blaise Pascal
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By Rage Against The Machine
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