Call Center Purgatory <$BlogRSDURL$>
Call Center Purgatory
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
  The Malfunction Part XXVII

As I moved very quietly down the hall, I could hear the head wolf howling and screeching around the corner and 500 meters down at the exit. I waited around corner and let the song repeat several times. I couldn't hear it anymore in my head. My own internal soundtrack was playing Rage Against the Machine. When I thought how many years that I had let these three spirits called Selfishness, Self-Pity and Despair keep me down, I seethed with anger. The evil world system that really ruins our lives is not just corrupt systems of government and businesses. It's the thoughts and beliefs that make us live mediocre lives, these are the voices that truly keep us down. It was my turn to watch them fail and suffer.

"Human!! Where are you!!...Snarl!!..I know you're coming!..Grrrr!...Come out!!.. Do you hear me?...I'm going to bloody my teeth on your neck!....AAAAAIIIGGHHH!!!"

I pulled the pin from the fire-extinguisher-turned-dart-gun and clutched the spear in the other hand. I left the lit bottle of napalm around the corner where I could get to it easily. I slowly came around the corner.

"Hey, Fuzzy-ass, you looking for me? Yoo hoo! I'm over here!"
He started sprinting towards me, not even noticing the new weapons. I kneeled down and aimed the dart gun. He kept coming, he was senseless and running on pure hatred. I had not fired this gun, the size of projectile meant it would probably only be good from a short distance. I had to wait until he was less than 10 meters to be do any good.

70 meters...
50 meters...
30 meters...
10 meters...

I squeezed the trigger and the barrel popped off and the frozen CO2 gas sprayed my face as I fell back to the floor. He was on top of me in seconds. We rolled on the ground in the hallway. He was inches from my face and bit my left hand and shoulder. I finally kicked him off and grabbed the spear. He leapt again and I brought the blade up and missed his chest and caught his belly, ripping it fully open as he knocked me on the ground. He was screaming in rage and pain, while he struggled to his feet. I rolled towards the bottle, leapt up and broke the bottle over his head. The flame spread over his whole body. He writhed in agony and rolled around trying to put the flames out with no luck like the others. I finally thrust the spear through his temple and he finally stopped howling. The smell was incredible.

I didn't stop to rest, or pick up the spear. I didn't care anymore. I wanted this to end and I wanted out of here. I ran to the exit, and tore aside the blue tarps and leapt into a black void...


Thanks for reading,


Anonymous Cog

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Exploring the mind numbing insanity and childish corporate culture of an unknown call center employee.

Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.

Email:anonymous.cog at

"One must know oneself, if this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life, and there is nothing better." -Blaise Pascal

The Cog is listening to:
"Wake Up"
By Rage Against The Machine

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