I think we can agree that I am a little paranoid and oversensitive(just a little). But I'm not totally without reasons. Sometime the scariest times are when things go well at the call center. I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, or start imagining that there are things going on behind my back, that all those meetings management is having is about cutting staff. They must be talking about me. What have I done now?
Whenever I get to that point of paranoia, I take a step back, and repeat one of my favorite maxims: "It's not all about me...It's not all about me...Its not all about me....". If I could slap myself at that point I would. Maybe I could get Angelina Jolie to slap me...She could be wearing high heel black boots...Damn, I'm digressing again.
Since I lost the dream job, I've really made an effort to be thankful for the job I have, and try to improve my performance as far as I can control it. Every morning, when I can remember to, I try to pray to be a better worker and ask for wisdom to do things differently. I'm not trying to appear super-spiritual-I'm just smart enough to realize I need help-I can't do it on my own (if I was spiritual I wouldn't be thinking about Angelina Jolie in boots...)
What's been so scary about this is that things have improved. My call volume is up somewhat, not incredibly, but its not going down either. I don't remember the last time I got yelled at. To make things even scarier, the GM has been pleasant lately, even courteous.
I know there are always multiple causes for anomalies in our world and in the actions of others. My call volume could be the luck of the draw and other people being sick. The GM could have been getting some loving from Mrs. GM and just be in a good mood. My perceptions and my reality is almost always subjective. But for the time being, I'm just going to believe things are going good, and not be paranoid. There's nothing I could do about it anyway.
Thanks for reading,
Purgatory: A place of suffering and torment with an unknown duration. In Roman Catholic Theology-the place where the dead are purified from their sins.
By Rage Against The Machine