Leaving Purgatory-Leaving Hatred Behind
During my time at Call Center Purgatory, I dealt with a lot of hate. I hated the management, my direct supervisors, my customers, and finally I hated myself for where I had ended up. There was also a person at my call center who really seemed to go out of their way to make me want to hate them, probably because they started out by presenting themself as a friend and then turned on me. They brought out the kind of hatred I did not know could exist inside of me. That's where the blog came in handy. When I felt hate I could write about how I felt. It was as good as any therapist. It helped me leave it behind, or at least understand how I felt. Here's some posts that were part of this.Class WarfareWandering through a wonderland of rageWhat I am..
Eventually all these feelings made me really try to understand the nature of evil and hatred. I found myself taking a look at my own evil. Here's what I wrote about that:Dealing with HatredWhat is Evil?Hidden EvilExcuse me, but is there a stick in my eye?
I don't know how to describe it, but little by little, even before I was having any luck job hunting, the hate for this person sort of faded away. At one point during the last year at the call center, I did actually express how I felt to this person, but in a constructive, polite way. They seemed to change their attitude for the better, but more important, I finally could see their own frustration with the place. They hated it as much as I did, maybe more. They were just as messed up as me, and just as human.
After Larry and the first GM left, I had my hopes up that the change in management would make things better. The new managers tried hard, but they became like the ones before them. It was then I finally realized that this was not just a couple of bad managers, or a bad vice-president, it was the whole corporation. It was like a body with a brain tumor. Take all the vitamins you want, work out, and run a marathon, but there is still something at the top that is unhealthy and will never get better on its own.
In the end, my nemesis came up to me and shook my hand. He graciously wished me good luck with a sincere smile and firm handshake. I felt like the world had lifted off my shoulders. The hate was gone for good.
Thanks for reading,